there's no distance that could hold us back.

2010. it's been quite a year.

holy moly.

when i look back over the events of the past 12 months, to be quite honest, i'm surprised i made it through with any sanity at all! between buying a house, wedding planning, and being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, i was a giant stressball for most of the year. i am so thankful for a tremendous and caring God, and a family and friend support group that have really helped float me along on their encouragement. i couldn't have made it through without them...

or without chris.

this man came into my life at precisely the right time. God is so good with His timing. i have come to understand love so much more fully through chris' patience, actions, and through his own love for me. i cannot begin to express what an incredible blessing it is to be married to this man- God really knows what He's doing.

and so, 2011 is almost here. i'm reminded of a Christmas song lyric by john lennon- "and so this is Christmas, and what have you done? another year over, a new one just begun." i've been asking myself lately, what has this year been about? and i get the same one word over and over again: me. this year i have been so focused on myself, and that's scary. i can't and shouldn't live this way. God commands us to live a life not of our own flesh, but a life lived for Him. so with 2011 around the bend, i have committed to a new way of living: God's way. i will use this next year (and those beyond) to see outside of my own walls and live for others, not for me. to build a foundation with chris that is seen as holy and good, and to keep that foundation strong for our (hopefully) future children. after all, our lives are like a mist, and i want mine to be worth something in the eyes of our Lord. so this is God's year. i will do with it what He desires. may i have a heart open to direction. and may i do something worthy of His call in my marriage, my future endeavors, and with all those i am blessed to meet.







hugs and loves.

the difference between shooting stars and satellites.

i'm not really sure how to feel right now.

it's a jumble of emotions, really. a mixed bag. i'm mad, frustrated, scared, and just really, really sad.

but i know God is near. and he blessed me with amazing people to go through this with. and timing couldn't have been better (if there could be "good timing" for these kinds of things), because i have the most incredible husband who will walk through every step with my hand in his.

but it's really hard to take.

i haven't blogged in a while, and there's a lot of catching up to do, but i want to start writing again. i figured it's as good a time as any, and i have a lot to say. and there's TONS of amazing things to write about that has happened in my absent period.

but not tonight. tonight, i'm just going to cry and sleep it out. i'm one confused and upset cookie.







hugs and loves.